About Me

My photo
people change, things go wrong... what ever happens, life goes on...

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

today was a fairytale

bak kate GMD aku feeling2 taylor swift hari ni... hehehe

alhamdulillah alhamdulillah alhamdulillah... thank you dear Allah!! hari ni aku bersyukur sangat2 sebab dapat result yg mmg diri sendiri tak expect...  rase macam mimpi pulak...  aku nk berterima kasih kpd mak abah n abangs2ku n kakaks2ku.. cikgu2 n kawan2... especially GMD... thnks sbb tolong aku... ok lepas ni nk mintak abang2 n kakak2 ku untuk menaja phone blackberry utk aku... hehehe bole kan bole kan??? kalo bole nak mintak yg Torch... tapi abah tak kasi... ok lah, baik! aku mintak Curve or Bold je lahhh.... ok la kn.... atleast... hehehe tu je yg nak beritahu hari ni...

Monday, March 19, 2012

numb thumb dumb jump!

fuuuhhhhhhhhhhhh im so freakg scared right now... i cant eat properly -sumtimes i ate a lot, n sumtimes nk mkn pn x lalu-, i cant sleep well (ok i sleep very2 well), im too terrified to face the fact on the 21st... it is just like the worst nightmare ever... n worst i had a fight with sumone... mcm mana nk minta maaf... because its like so freakg big fight...n tht person means a lot to me... without 'em im nothing... n i am to be blame... because mmg ur own fault pn.... n yah how to minta maaf??? kalau small deal tu mmg lah senang nk minta maaf... haih i just dont know... i wanted to, but i dont know how to do it... maybe some of u might think tht im kinda ego or sumtg... no im not!!!! im just feeling tooooo guilty n dont know how to apologise.... im too scared to face 'em... what am i suppose to do..?? just leave it hanging??? or i shuld apologise by writing a love letters??? yeah! LETTERS! tht would work... i guess...  im so hoping tht it would work... n atleast i do sumtg kn dari nothg at all... kan???

p/s: saja besar kan font so it will look like a very very very very n very long post...

Tuesday, March 13, 2012


mari merungut bersama2...!

haih ape la... ptut nye info tu bantu orang nak faham cerita tu pasal ape... ni kau tulis satu ayat je kat info tu... memeang la aku faham... sangat x membantu...  tu la acik kayo tak nak pakai @str0 kek rumah... buat habih boras den jo... baik den tengok tibi biaso... (speaking nogori pulak..hehehe)..

ni pulak lagi seekor...  tak payah la buat channel ni stay kan je lah B4U tu... horny kot... ade ke tunsjuks scene yg 18xxx... ok fine mmg la channel tu utk org besa... tapiiii kalau ade budak2 tertekan channel tu gimana??? n nk2 pulak time tu lah rexeki malang nasib dia ternengok..... tak ke terpause lama kat situ.... kalau aku ternengok x pe lagi... sebab itew dah becar.... hehehe besa la sgt..... xxxx maksud aku xde la smapai nak tiru aksi lagak ngeri dia... kan GEN X skrg golongan yg suka mencuba... x pedulik lah dia benda tu salah ke idak..  (aku GEN X pencen...hehehe)

p/s: im just expressing my views here... if u dont like it, i cant do anytg... diff people have their own way of judging things.... 

Monday, March 5, 2012

gudbye LOVE

hey guys... hehehe well i have an oath to make...

 "saya, the owner of ths blog.. akan berjanji tidak akan memikirkan pasal love lg... samapai lah saya berjaya mendapat ijazah"

i really mean it guys... especially GMD (please take note)... kalau aku tersasar, tlg ingt kan aku.. tau2.. in fact i have a partner or like join venture la jugak for my oath ni... n he's my standard5 punya crush... he agreed to do this oath with me...

p/s: this oath will officially batal if ada anak raja datang meminang... hehehe

dear awk...

actually this what i wantd to say u d other day... but when it comes to talkg, i get nervous easily... evry single word tht ive arranged in my head slipped away when i heard u on the otherside of d phone...

dear awk...
       sy dah pk sume ni msk2...i think im not ready for this lovey dovey stuff... n in fact awk sendri yg ckp awk dah x percaya dgn true love lg... u said u wanna try to chnge tht bad perception by being wit me?? i dont wanna risk my feelings for tht... u dont knw how bad n much i was hurt last year... with m^2, mr. ang la n u (yg suddenly chnge ur mind n treat me like i was nothg)... u dont knw tht b'cus u wre not in my shoe.... i think its too early for us to think bout this... ive alrdy close my heart after i saw u in a relationship wit tht girl... u seem so proud being 'in a relationship' without thinkg how i would feel... i hurt so bad tht time... i felt like i ws being fooled n played by a game of urs... i dont wanna risk my heart for tht... i do like u... thre's no doubt for tht statement... but its just tht im not ready yet... im stil in trauma to accept ur proposal to be ur gf... same goes to d other guys out thre... im not ready... ni bkn bermksd yg sy reject awk forever... xxxxx.... x terlintas pn... mybe if u show a little patience n kesungguhan n a little loyalty kat sy mybe i'll keep tht for a double check... sbb if u do love me, u'r willing to wait for me like forever kn... ingt x sy nk sruh awk prove kat sy yg awk btul2 serius ke x kn... act i dont want fancy stuff for u to sow me tht... its just tht if u text me evryday n ask me am i ok or not, tu dah kira prove me sumtg dah.. sy x nk start benda tu dlu sbb i wanna see how much u care bout me... n do u think about me evryday... tu je benda yg awk perlu buat to prove me.. i think we like better be friends je dulu... friends mcm dulu2... sbb it wont hurt me tht bad if awk tiba2 tuka fikiran... im glad tht u've been a jerk towards me tht time... bcuz it teaches me a very valuble.. u shuld take a credit for tht ... :) i do appreciate bile awk mintak maaf... it means a lot to me... u mean a lot to me... i dont wanna risk evrytg tht we had... not now... insyaallah if we do really meant for each other, then we will b together jugak kn... 

fuhhh i feel much more better!!! hmm <3

Sunday, February 19, 2012

is he for real???

yeah... if u have read my 'u left me speechless' post... its about a boy tht i was n is into whose being a jerk towards me all the time lps dah bg harapan tinggi menggunung... yup he left me speechless, without saying a thing... he suddenly change n like kept avoidg me for no reason... i dont no why... hmm u know sumtimes its wrong to walk a way when u think its over... but actually theres so much more to say... my heart torn apart when i saw his status 'in a relationship with Amy (not a real name)'... i was like so shock n so patah hati... sbb dlu dia penah ckp tht he didnt want to think bout this relationship stuff sbb busy nk carik kerja lah bagai... cakap x serupa bikin... lps i saw his status, evryday i kept playing tht lagu 'Patah Seribu by Shila Amzah'... evry single day i played tht song... sgt patah seribu at tht time... so yah last saturday i mean kelmarin, he suddenly miss called me... then i  txt him askg why... he said saje je... then we txt je la lps tu.... he wants to say sorry for being such a jerk to me the last few months... n i said to him tht he's really a jerk but still i will forgive him... he's being the old him... the 'him' tht i was i love with dlu... n dia dah broke up with his girlfriend i just dont know wht was his purpose but i liked it... at the same time i think i wanna teach him a lesson... i wanna to see him terhegeh-hegeh at me... i want him to cry me out! i want him to know mcm mane rase nye bila gantung x bertali... but at the same time i just dont wanna lose him again... ahhhh i just dont know.... :/

ravi no more...

yeah.. u heard me (i mean 'u read me').... no more ravi... for all of u who dont know who the hell is ravi... here's an introduction for ya... so yah ravi (not a real name) was my admmt's tuition teacher... n yah he's an indian... he's a tall, dark n handsome... cliche? yah i knw but its true... i was having a huge crush on him when im 17.. yeah we were kinda like so close, i dont knw how but we did... hes like 10 years older thn me.... i knw right.. sumtimes we txt nothng bout admts... ok not sumtmes, but ALL THE TIMES.... thres a story bout tht MINI SKRIT... but yeah x nk crita... malu lah.... GMD je boleh tahu... *back to the story... so me n ravi aint no txtg or contact each other anymore... because i wanted too... cuz he's actg a lil creepy... i mean like he's calling me honey lah syg lah... n not to forget, those sweet talks... omg im so not comfortable wit him.. yeah dlu mmg rasa mcm terbang kt awan... tp bila dah lama2 ni rase strange... n he's way too old for me... yelah i ws just a kid tht time... now im 18 n i just think its not proper to like text wit him... the last msg tht i text him ws "sir, sory.. i cnt text u anymore b'cuz i'm so freakg busy lately.....etc.(i forgot act)" hehehe n furthermore i already lost his number... but the thing is, i owed him my 2 months tuition fees... dont worry i'll pay sooner or later...i really appreciate him for teachg me admts... always be.... :3

Friday, January 6, 2012

you left me speechless...

"i'm a loser in love"

"i'm not a princess
this ain't a fairytale
i'm not the one u sweep off her feet
lead her up the stairwell
i was a dreamer b4 u went n let me down"

"have u changed?
am i no longer in ur eart now?
when i think about u,
it hurts, it hurts a lot"

"why did u have to change?"

"hope this love will soon disappear
without a word u have left me heart broken"

i thought i was stronger but unfortunately i'm not...